lately hes been ok, mostly because i dont see or talk to my family anymore, but when i do see him, hes ok. hes always been an asshole, and it got really extreme a few months ago. but this man, whom i refer to as father, whos been the male role model in my life since i was 6.hes an asshole. hes not my real father, that man would have died when i was a toddler. and i def had issues a few months ago, where i had to go to friggin therapy to deal with my father. its about trying to impress your dad all your life. its like theyre speaking to me (insert laughter) but seriously though. I heard a song by Simple Plan called 'Perfect' today. Posted by tga 5:30 PM 1 comments Tuesday, June 14, 2005 whatever, ill never get over it, ill never call one of them to tell them this, so its just gonna slowly kill me. thats not what friends do, and you were drunk when you mentioned it in the first place. um, what?!! you were supposed to call me to set up lunch, im not gonna call you at work, and meet you during your lunch break, like im a fucking meeting you have to go to. i just want to talk to them, and be friends, but i dont think i can just pretend like the past few weeks didnt happen (or lack there of) and so at one point i actually say 'hey, long time no see' and he goes, well you never called me for lunch.
he proceeds to ignore me all night, even when were in the same conversation circles. so then other friend is sitting on a couch, trying his hardest to not let me see him looking at me from the corner of his eye. of course the two friends who are jerks are there (life is a vicious circle of friends) so one friend hugs everyone around me, but not me, wtf? i would have returned the hug bitch. so then yesterday i had a blast again all day blahblah, then were going to another good friends party. i cant handle that, i cant handle the lack of hanging out and communication, i dont NEED this. ok i come all this way to see them, they ignore me and stay locked in the bedroom. so i get outside and instantly start to cry. so i tell her no, i dont hate her, and i grab for my keys, we hug, and im like no i really need to go because my eyes are watery at this point. so i stay for a bit longer, but decide im gonan break down, so i try to get my keys from my friend who was holding them, but when i tried, i was accosted by the girl whos birthday it was (she lives there too) and she goes 'why do you hate me?' and in my head, im like fuck i just want to go, i dont need this. he ignores me, and specifically avoids eye contact. so we get there, the 2 friends we were looking for were asleep (they are dating) so were like whatevs, and somehow one gets up and joins the party all disheveled. since we live in a college town, everythign is close. this was the last straw for my other friends, they decide were going over there. so then he gets back to me a little later and says he isnt coming. so we werent gonna go, but then one of my other bestest friends who was at the party im'ed me and asked to come over, i said sure, even though we are on weird terms, i wanted to see what he had to say. so they wanted to go to the party still, and i knew that was so the opposite of a good idea. but then he asks if the other friend is there, and he is, so he says 'well then dont come' wtf? what a bitch. so one friend calls him, and he doesnt answer, but calls back after were slightly drunk and says that she shoudl come to a party hes having at his house. so these 2 friends are having (or have HAD) the same issue im having with a very good friend, except neither of them talk to this friend. it was one of those fun giddy drunk feelings. So thursday night myself and 2 friends get drunk on white russians (after a fun day/evening together) and were having a grand old time. so we'll see where the rest of this goes. i got to hang with all sorts of people and do fun things, drink a lot and all that jazz, and its only saturday at 5pm.